It's me, Glam. I wanted to tell you about how the other day, I was real sick ya'll, and still I did have to clear our dog Lucky's dog turds away from our back garden/patio area. But I cannot bring myself to pick them up like you're meant to with dog turds, so instead I sprayed them with the hose until they were under my neighbour's fence. Most of the turds dissipated under the pressure of a jet of water, but some more "sturdy turdy's" managed to stay intact. Those are the ones I managed to make do races to see who could reach the fence first! It's important to make an unsavoury task FUN.
Now that I've shared that, I wanted to tell you that Freddie Stroma is the new Robert Pattinson. He, for those psychos not in the know, plays Cormac McLaggen in the new Harry Potter movie, and my pheromones are calling out to him, my loins aquiver. Or something like that. But hey, do a google image search and find out for yourself.
Anyway, fuck 'dis shit, I'm outta here.